A Scandalized Woman Rises Triumphant

Illicit affairs and scandalous rumors have haunted fashion model Jordan Carver for years. From her alleged association with multiple drug dealers, to her recent claims about her child's father, she's no stranger to unwanted attention.

What no one making these claims ever did, however, was give the woman herself a chance to speak on the matter. We never got her side of the story. So today, I was fortunate enough to sit down with fashion icon, and strong, Zebra spokeswoman, Jordan Carver.

Zebra: "Jordan, it seems that there are no end of rumors about who fathered your child. Conspiracy theories have blossomed online, several people have come forth with varying degrees of evidence to support their claim. Can you lay any of this to rest for us?" Jordan: "I can give you some information, but we've both agreed to let him live his life unhindered by the attention this would draw. First of all, he's Black, if you couldn't guess from the baby pictures of little Raekwon. I wouldn't demean myself with anything else. Second, he's not someone you'd know. He isn't a celebrity, and he won't reveal himself later without me by his side. That should silence all of those wannabes that come crawling out of the woodwork." Zebra: "Would you say that you're Black only, or even Black Owned, Jordan?" Jordan: "As close as I can be. I've had at least one hundred and twenty Black partners, and I've served as a wet nurse for eight Black children. I've been producing a LOT of milk. More than my own can consume. I'm happy to help feed my Black Superiors. It's a point of pride to be seen as useful."

Zebra: "There was an uproar online from many of your fans when they found out your child was mixed. Can you tell me more about that?" Jordan: "I'd love to. There were at least a hundred different people raiding my Instagram and Twitter accounts calling me 'mudshark,' 'ruined,' or a 'coon chaser.' Do you know what I did? I liked every one of their comments. I retweeted the most hateful ones and thanked them for recognizing me for what I was: a woman with discriminating tastes. My detractors are the most unappealing, unattractive, and childish men alive. The prudish women that follow them into the comments are jealous harridans that never took advantage of the life they were given. They're sadder than the men, if no less obnoxious." Zebra: "Do you have any plans to bear more children in the near future? Will they be with the same father or a different one?" Jordan: "While Raekwon's father is still a very frequent lover, I'd like to branch out and give myself to many, many other Black men. It isn't right to deny them the pleasure of my body. I say that both as a statement of confidence in myself, and in humility to what the white race owes its Black superiors.

As of this publication, Jordan has since been reported by Zebra insiders to have spent a night in the breeding lounge of the world famous Los Angeles Zebra location, "The Dark Safari." Zebra enthusiast Olivia Holt claims to have personally had her face in Jordan's cunt after it was filled full of Nigger seed three times over. On behalf of everyone here, we'd like to wish her all the best in all of her future breeding endeavors.